Quick post to update on the new eh… things, yeah. Things. Like these three new additions to the picture gallery (click for full sized image):
The classical guitar section got boosted up by a video. Managed a decentish practice take on some Tárrega arrangements, updated the typical daily song list.
And that’s about it for the most part. Haven’t moved at all on the books front, though it’s what I had in mind for the weekend, and anyway supply far exceeds current demands for them. Additionally, going by this year’s number, currently stocked inventory is abundant enough to complete all orders forever so… like, no rush.
If you haven’t looked here in a while you’ll see a huge difference in the sidebar and menus, and if not well you might see some minor changes.
I wasn’t going to make a listens post or list for this week but I’ll mention a couple things. Like Rustbelt Abolition Radio, which I hadn’t clicked on yet when I made my post last week, and The Rebel Beat podcast I’m listening to while writing this.
In any case, to reduce mouse clicking attrition check out the list of co-conspirators over at Channel Zero Network. If you like what you see on that list, you might also like hearing they recently started up an uninterrupted audio stream from a mix of episodes from all of these shows. … !!! Yeah, go check it out.
(ed: wp is totally fucking up with the tweet embeds with this theme so… (does a weird blockquote thing idk))
-bda-, abuse, acab, arts, arts & crafts, blog, books, cancer, Capicorn, cats, comics, criminality, DIY, e-begging, ftp, fund raising, handouts, health, homelessness, illness, injury, medical torture, nonconformity, police brutality, precarity, prison, resistance, revolt, survival, violence, words
I’ve always been somewhat of an anti-authoritarian. I was always more of a non-conformist in many aspects. I took the advance classes with the rest of the nerds, spent a lot of time playing video games and boardgames, hung out with the skaters and the punks, partied with the metalheads, the rockers, the hippies, and I even played in some of their bands.
I went to college cause why the fuck not, it’s just debt… after three years and as many different programs, I was abducted from my apartment by police and taken to a medical facility where I was tortured for several weeks before being sent to jail. I’ve pondered over the details so many times already, I’m not sure it’s even worth trying describing it anymore.
I have no clue who my real parents are. I’ve been told too many lies already.
In the late 90s, while I was in college and holding a steady job, I was taken to a psychiatric hospital to be medically tortured, physically, and psychologically through a process I’ve come to understand as gaslighting. I can only assume it was as a result of political and social profiling. Or so the official story goes: my legal guardian at the time having been convinced by an ultra-religious uncle, who decided after having had only a short conversation with me in who knows how many years, and that’s about it, that I was into demons and hard drugs or some shit, and that this was the best course of action to deal with it.
And then of course, after that, everyone is just doing their jobs.
From time to time whenever they felt like it, they would give me some loose, sometimes just a little. I was even allowed to leave, sometimes, by one doctor only for another to have me brought back if I did, and then punished for escaping. After the long weeks spent strapped to tables or locked up in padded rooms, drugged, deceived at every turn and manipulated, mindfucked… I escaped several times, I guess. Police were never far behind to bring me back either way though, whether I fled or was let go.
I was eventually sent to jail for violence against one of my captors. Basically, for refusing to consent to their treatments and diagnosis. For several weeks then, I was moved to a different cage. I was found not guilty of whatever it was they conjured up and ordered never to go near that place again. No one wants to hear about this, that’s the story: it didn’t happen, it can’t be real. I need help, I need meds, I need to get over it, no one wants to hear about this. I’m just lying anyway you’re probably thinking. In any case, it just follows the same “there’s nothing to be done about it” from referral to referral and back again to some different uncivil servant only interested in which box to check and where to stamp the rubber.
The story goes on past the time living the streets, the years then spent being a hostage to street gangs (cause where the fuck did you expect me to end up?), defrauded, beaten and under constant harassment by both them and law enforcement thugs, skipping over other ordeals I’d rather not go into right now, and the mundane employments, the community service work, the back to school schtick, the injuries and illnesses, accidents and personal conflicts, bullshit jobs, bullshit bosses, bullshit bullshiters, to the cancer that signalled my definite retirement from the “job” market just a couple years back now.
I am unable to maintain any sort of stable occupation, again. I never was. I have nothing but contempt for this world of fascist for-profit existence. Because I have to, I live on the credit cards which I managed to get while being a student at university, with these days a deficit of around 500$ each month being as low as I allow myself. My medical situation barely allows me beyond basic welfare support, which by itself doesn’t even cover food, shelter and utilities. Without that credit, if and once they take it away, the streets, with everything that entails, is soon to be the next stop. Going by how things are now I’d expect in a couple years at most. Either jail or the morgue follows, it’s practically unavoidable. Too many triggers.
A total of at least an extra 1300$ a month would be needed to cover minimum living expenses, and all the prescriptions and therapies for which I obviously and of course don’t qualify for coverage for.
Donations of 15$ or more would get you a hand-bound notebook if you so desired, blank or with your suggested content printed inside, simply email email@example.com with your details first. Once the initial production models are used up however, I plan to raise the minimum to 25$. A few of the newer books, made of new paper (blank on both sides for double the usable pages) and natural wool, are already available. Donations over 10$ give you the option of ordering a Capicorn, or any other available -bda-, for free. Again, please provide with details by email or message first. Feel free to ask any question you may have, start up a chat, send dick pics and such.
Similar gifts will be offered to those who offer monthly support through patreon (soon-ish)
I spent a long time pondering over exactly how to organize the various things I wanted to have on my arts blog, from painting, sketches, drawings and digital constructs, furniture, designs, texts, texts set to music, videos about music… stories, songs, images, and poems for people places and sometimes even for things that don’t exist, or that do, or that sometimes one then the other… It’s a bit of a mess, there’s a lot of overlap, but the runes are a good place to start saddled in riding a fine line between sci-fi fantasy and reality, not entirely fiction yet not at all made up.
I’m working on a general introduction page for the specifics on the types of xenography and lore used in the rune carvings involved in most of the works I’m referring to here. What they are, where they’re from, how they work and stuff like that. I’ll post the link to it somewhere over here once I’m done, maybe. It won’t be till a while though as I’m not currently done with the mundane cards and little booklets which will be included with each signed piece (and which have in them a glossary of sorts along with parts of said general introduction… ), and shouldn’t be for a couple months still, mostly. Sometime before the next year I guess. I’ll slowly have a few here and there ready as time goes.
I have enough entries to get it rolling even despite that, mostly from the “Shapes” collection, the -bda- series, and a few odds and ends in between. Going over these entries and building up the visual arts section of the blog and website, that’s pretty much what’s lined up for the next couple of weeks, and more. Plus there’s always that unexpected to prepare. For, to prepare for.
Speaking of which. There’s also a special project that’s near completion. It’s basically at the final stage, waiting on the ressource logistics related stuff to move forward with production and distribution… (there’s a working model in my kitchen, shhh). Having a useable image of that one finally assembled is basically what’s holding me back on a couple of things.
(SPOILER: it’s an air-freshener device)
That special project should be done before the end of this summer, and I should be able to set up the page using the prototype long before then. By then I also should have the dozen or so already planned out items either ready or missing minor details for completion. It’s hard to be more precise when there’s such a variety of factors to deal with… hand painted one-time pieces don’t require the same attention, and because their card-certificate and manual won’t need to be itself replicated unlike the digital and print variety, they don’t get elaborated in the same way.
All these things need to be hand written, hand bound and signed.
So enough with the chatter and distractions… other entries in the rune section of the arts catalogue won’t get this much of a fluffed up intro, if at all, as in meaning it’ll probably be much more brief once all that other stuff is out of the way…
If you read this far might as well keep going before looking at the piece’s write up. Seems like it’s part of the recommended intake, what’s coming up next. It’s been designed to provide soft entertainment while your monitor refreshes, and research has proven it to be effective in improving satisfaction when consumed prior to consultation.
The following is a dramatic reconstruction based on the testimony of one satisfied customer who installed Capicorn on a tile leading up to the entrance of their house.
Details have been changed to protect the ignorant.
The impossible doesn’t happen, otherwise it would be possible.
The following material contains content matter of a graphic nature, reader discretion is advised. Like, seriously… stick to the mundane facts and look over some less elaborate – more sober – entries. This one here in French, the digital-guin (penciled actually), has been available for a while by now: it’s something yellow that hangs in the bathroom, and that’s all you need to know. All those in the “Shapes“ collection are also usually much lighter on the brain and should be ready for browsing soon.
I’ve debated over this enough already, Capicorn is the better frontrunner on this one. There’s nothing else like them.
(Shh… it’s starting.)
-“Jesus fucking Christ Alllmighty son of eh… Marie Mother of God Sweet fucking Mercy what the Hell is going on!!”
A tallish person in a suit, holding a briefcase in the left hand and some kind of pamphlet in the other, is standing as if frozen mid-stride on the side of a road near an opening in some bushes where a small path laid in stone bricks leads up to a house on a foresty hill. Someone comes in from somewhere behind the trees, holding a gardening shovel in one of their gloved hands, their face in a deep shadow cast by the large straw hat shielding them from the bright morning sun rising over the horizon behind. They walk along the path and stop to stand besides the paralyzed pedestrian.
-“Oh, hi there. Beautiful day isn’t it?”
-“Beautiful day!? Wtf is this? I can’t move, like at all! except to talk, apparently…”
-“Are you stuck there? You don’t seem to be moving at all.”
-“Do you know who you are?”
-“What does that even mean? Holy Shit Hell! What’s going on? Of course I know who I am, what the bloody fucking hell? Look at me! I’m frozen mid step. I can’t move! (except to talk, for some strange reason) Anymore helpful questions?”
-“Yes, possibly. Do you remember where you were going, or what you’re doing here?”
-“What I’m doing here?! Are you kidding? I’m stuck here! I was walking along, going up this road, and here I am now in full rigor. As stiff as a board and somehow managing to stay upright. I can’t even blink! It doesn’t even feel like I’m breathing anymore either. Planted here like a statue staring at that stone in the ground. That’s what I’m doing. That and wanting to not be stuck like this anymore so I can get away from here. That feeling is getting stronger by the minute and you’re not helping.”
-“You don’t say.”
-“Hold on, this won’t hurt one bit.”
(gently pokes the trapped victim in the shoulder with the end of the shovel)
-“wha… Oh. Wow. Blessed be the Lord that feels good! phew… Ok, thanks but ho… wwhawwddd di … ddd .owwWWWWAAARAFPHGAGAGGAARRRGG!\!!$\%%#!%!#!&&%*”
(collapses on the ground both hands clawing frantically their head at the temples, obviously in great pain)
-“Oh, right, that part. I always forget about that part. I don’t know why it does that.”
-“Anyway, looks like it’s over now. You’ll be fine. Say, you wouldn’t mind telling me which eye that was? Which side you felt that pain in, would you? That’d be very helpful, thanks.”
Small booklets, papers and pamphlets fly everywhere as the briefcase hits the ground and opens after its owner jerks up, wildly flings it away and runs.
And that’s why it’s hard to keep reliably accurate statistics on these things.
Here’s a look at some other pieces I’m working on a page for:
Not sure which one I’ll finish editing next, this should be in a couple of days I guess. I’ll publish the pages as they get done, and update them as the cards and booklets get finalized. I’ll hit the blog again by this time next week to sum up where things are at overall, after which I might not get the opportunity to post for a bit…
… already feels like July is just around the corner.