Capicorn is the 4th entry in the -bda- series. Composed entirely out of cyberspace, a xenographic rune carved into the shape of an abstract representation of a proud young Capicorn taking flight inside an 8″x10″ frame.
Card-certificates with basic lore and production number are provided with every print copy. A limited run of the yarn-bound mini-book is scheduled for early 2018 but some advance copies will be available before then.
Based around the standard spellings of a disorientation rune and engraved in 4th level mind-erasure characters using thoroughly tested sound xenocryptographic file saving and copy-pasting techniques, the following effects have been stimulated to replace any standard passive warding usually provided by runes of this type upon proper installation and magitek:
– Hostile spirits will forget who they are.
– The unwelcomed forget where they were going, though the stronger willed might only forget why they are here.
– All are afflicted with an intense desire to go back from whence they came, though the unaware might only perceive it as a mild tingling and the friendly only feel it as a pleasant afterthought.
Possibly undesired side-effects may include a soft, high pitched ringing of the ear (usually the left one) in particularly fatigued individuals, and in very rare cases may induce paralysis in friendlies under heavy demonic influences whether or not they be knowingly so. May not be appropriate for all locations. These reactions are easily reversible and, like the inhumanly excruciating pain stabbing briefly but oh so sharply at the back of an eye that will inevitably experience the subject shortly thereafter (usually in behind the right one in this case, strangely enough), leave no permanent mark or long lasting effects.
Being that it attracts Capicorn, it was written to contain a built-in failsafe preventing it from attuning to or establishing connections with anyone not welcoming to their kind, and it will not properly activate unless registered through a certified xenozoolographist licensed by both the Astral Bureau of Communications AND its Administrative Branch on Channeling Dangerous Entities. Since the rune design was predicated based primarily on the aesthetics of its final visual form, rather than its function, it barely provides just enough for the basic, generic, and minimal protection against the most definitively hostile unless properly attuned to its would-be proprietor. It is highly recommended to consult with the Associated Banishers Collective on Domesticable Equestrian Flyers General Hotline and to follow their advice with regards to installation and maintenance.
Precautions should be taken to insure that the summoning device is suitably configured to deliver Capicorn with the adequate signed accreditations and customized user’s manual to assure them that upon reaching an acceptable destination satisfying the terms set forth in the ABCs regulatory protocols on potentially secure environment conditions they can recognize who’s calling.
Xenographic context and detail:
CAPICORN: Similar to unicorns, capicorns differ in that they ejaculate currency out of their anus. They shit money during coitus is the proper scientific way of putting it. They excrement cash during climax. Large bills, small bills. Mostly just coins at first, random assortments of whatever is in usage in the surrounding area. It tends to go up in value the longer and more exited they get. They learn to control what kinds of funds and in which denominations they pass through their rectum a bit better as they age.
They can sometimes be seen with wings, but since because these become retractable once they start going through puberty, most of the time they’re seen without them. They rarely take the wings out after reaching adulthood, at least, not in public, by then being able to fly without them anyway.
Although they can appear to be of varying dimensions, the viewers perception as usual doesn’t actually matter in these things: they’re about the length and height of an average cartoon pony, but can inflate themselves up to about the mass and size of a large terran horse. They’ll seem to be cute and cuddly soft gentle creatures (and indeed they are), especially when feeling the need for affection, but no mistake should be made about the fact that a Capicorn, especially a charging one, is a deadly dangerous impossible creature to deal with even if not inherently hostile.
The Capicorn’s horn being inside which is located the organ through which coitus is stimulated, its outline was partially obscured during the rune’s digital assembly. Somewhat conserving a shred of decency for the young creature in an attempt to focus attention on the beauty and majestic form of this magnificent beast’s body, our sight is drawn away from the objectively erotic imagery and provocative pose offered by the young specimen at the peak of the nymphomania and erotomania associated with the final stages of their last pre-pubescent growth spurt. On the onset of sexual maturity, they can barely contain themselves, coinage dripping uncontrollably out of their backend.
The picture represented in this abstract was taken not long before their instinctual urges compelled this Capicorn to flee the den and sell themselves off as a slave on the sex market. Things didn’t quite work out though, so they wandered from brothel to brothel until they met AnPool and the two immediately latched onto to each other, setting off on a brutally depraved rampage of killings and orgasms. Making snuff films for prick clients with rich money and screwing everything in sight willing or not every single waking moment of every single day. The binge lasted for several months. A period of their life that Capicorn would rather forget, even if they might be able to laugh and joke about it from time to time when they’re the one bringing it up. However short lived AnPool’s affections were, their intensity seems to have left a lingering impact. It’s not that he got tired of the money, but it’s that he didn’t have the sexual energy to keep it going anymore. The more he satisfied Capicorn’s cravings the more they grew pressing and demanding.
Capicorn made a lot of money during those years. Blew off most of it on prostitutes, quite literally, and the rest was left behind in pools of blood. It continued on for some time like this but things just weren’t the same after that ball-headed sociopathic oxymoron called AnPool left, and impaling people didn’t feel as gratifying as it used to somehow. They’ll say they were both just using each other, for different reasons, it didn’t mean anything. There’s plenty of people out there eager to rub my horn… Capicorn keeps repeating to themselves…
Availability and Authentication:
But where do they get their user’s manual?
Every Capicorn comes accompanied with their own yarn-bound booklet containing all the pertinent and important information needed, along with all the necessary aforementioned identification papers each signature verified by their respective relevant authoritative bodies, along also with the card-certificate inscribed with a copy of the production number signed by the worker taking full personal responsibility for attesting that the documentation inspected as being in conformity with specifications, and which the owner must have in their possession in order to validate that the purchase is verified as authentic.
Did you know?
- Capicorn agreed to have the picture published online in 2011, but it wasn’t released until later in 2012. It’s since been seen as bleedleaf’s profile background image on sites like G+, Twitch.tv, Facebook and more. Many of this website’s banners and featured images were sampled from it also. It also hangs on the wall above my desk.
- The ABCDEFGH keeps their lines open 24 hours a day except in timezones where daylight savings time forces them to close the channel for an hour each day.
- The empty spaces in this rune’s design were originally meant to be partially transparent but the background printed out in a grey gradient when the physical construct was materialized for the first time. Though this feature has since been incorporated into the final production model template, a variant with transparent background is still available and ready should printer technology ever catch up.
- The image was originally optimized to fit inside an 8”x10” frame.
(for info about acquiring a genuine signed certificate and safety manual for Capicorn)
(pour un certificat signé véritable et un manuel de sureté pour Capicorn)