Suicide by Fascist Capitalism



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I’ve always been somewhat of an anti-authoritarian. I was always more of a non-conformist in many aspects. I took the advance classes with the rest of the nerds, spent a lot of time playing video games and boardgames, hung out with the skaters and the punks, partied with the metalheads, the rockers, the hippies, and I even played in some of their bands.
I went to college cause why the fuck not, it’s just debt… after three years and as many different programs, I was abducted from my apartment by police and taken to a medical facility where I was tortured for several weeks before being sent to jail. I’ve pondered over the details so many times already, I’m not sure it’s even worth trying describing it anymore.

I have no clue who my real parents are. I’ve been told too many lies already.

In the late 90s, while I was in college and holding a steady job, I was taken to a psychiatric hospital to be medically tortured, physically, and psychologically through a process I’ve come to understand as gaslighting. I can only assume it was as a result of political and social profiling. Or so the official story goes: my legal guardian at the time having been convinced by an ultra-religious uncle, who decided after having had only a short conversation with me in who knows how many years, and that’s about it, that I was into demons and hard drugs or some shit, and that this was the best course of action to deal with it.

And then of course, after that, everyone is just doing their jobs.

From time to time whenever they felt like it, they would give me some loose, sometimes just a little. I was even allowed to leave, sometimes, by one doctor only for another to have me brought back if I did, and then punished for escaping. After the long weeks spent strapped to tables or locked up in padded rooms, drugged, deceived at every turn and manipulated, mindfucked… I escaped several times, I guess. Police were never far behind to bring me back either way though, whether I fled or was let go.

I was eventually sent to jail for violence against one of my captors. Basically, for refusing to consent to their treatments and diagnosis. For several weeks then, I was moved to a different cage. I was found not guilty of whatever it was they conjured up and ordered never to go near that place again. No one wants to hear about this, that’s the story: it didn’t happen, it can’t be real. I need help, I need meds, I need to get over it, no one wants to hear about this. I’m just lying anyway you’re probably thinking. In any case, it just follows the same “there’s nothing to be done about it” from referral to referral and back again to some different uncivil servant only interested in which box to check and where to stamp the rubber.

The story goes on past the time living the streets, the years then spent being a hostage to street gangs (cause where the fuck did you expect me to end up?), defrauded, beaten and under constant harassment by both them and law enforcement thugs, skipping over other ordeals I’d rather not go into right now, and the mundane employments, the community service work, the back to school schtick, the injuries and illnesses, accidents and personal conflicts, bullshit jobs, bullshit bosses, bullshit bullshiters, to the cancer that signalled my definite retirement from the “job” market just a couple years back now.

I am unable to maintain any sort of stable occupation, again. I never was. I have nothing but contempt for this world of fascist for-profit existence. Because I have to, I live on the credit cards which I managed to get while being a student at university, with these days a deficit of around 500$ each month being as low as I allow myself. My medical situation barely allows me beyond basic welfare support, which by itself doesn’t even cover food, shelter and utilities. Without that credit, if and once they take it away, the streets, with everything that entails, is soon to be the next stop. Going by how things are now I’d expect in a couple years at most. Either jail or the morgue follows, it’s practically unavoidable. Too many triggers.

A total of at least an extra 1300$ a month would be needed to cover minimum living expenses, and all the prescriptions and therapies for which I obviously and of course don’t qualify for coverage for.


Donations of 15$ or more would get you a hand-bound notebook if you so desired, blank or with your suggested content printed inside, simply email with your details first. Once the initial production models are used up however, I plan to raise the minimum to 25$. A few of the newer books, made of new paper (blank on both sides for double the usable pages) and natural wool, are already available.
Donations over 10$ give you the option of ordering a Capicorn, or any other available -bda-, for free. Again, please provide with details by email or message first. Feel free to ask any question you may have, start up a chat, send dick pics and such.

Similar gifts will be offered to those who offer monthly support through patreon (soon-ish)


banner bag of snacks and propaganda


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A pink triangle triforce skull, with assorted head-studded peacock feathers and jingle bells earrings, bag banner:

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Pigs chased us out of their jurisdiction last Saturday, all the way out into Battlefields Park, after our morning picnic in front of the National Assembly, in so called Québec City. The mighty morphing fascist furries had reservations there for part of the afternoon.
Here, a pink triangle triforce skull banner (with matching studded peacock feathers and jingle bells earrings) is waiting for them to skedaddle outta the way so it can approach the racist rally unimpeded. Which eventually happened, after this barricade cleared out, along with the surveillance in the area around the gate, it managed to moved up to some few yards away from the meutons’ procession, right down the middle of a deserted street, as they were going round the fountain to escape the area. (if anyone has pics from that part, please do send me, thx)


send more kibbles!!!(dafuq!? they caption that as if we right wing? crazy nutters)

Look at that dude here, strolled around all day with that … thing, and a heavyish metal chair that folds up to look kinda like a mini-gun, and only got controlled once by 5.0 (tripods can work too, they’re just not as comfy). I mean, folks need to get a tiny bit creative around here. Even got to taunt the pups and their beasty buddies as they tailed on out, and then still free to use the space and sit down for another snack. The banner’s bag had enough water and food, including power bars, to last for days, but cause the weather being real shitty and all, and seeing as no one else seemed to have been either willing or able to stick around to share it with, back home we went.


Very sad about all those detained and arrested. How rude. Even some just there by happenstance. Not cool.
And for what?
So a bunch of fascist fuckbags can take a piss and dump in the pond, whilst their spokespersons do the shitshine show to distract media from their far-right extremist allegiances, with truth-obfuscating, deceptive drivel, and pointless, impertinent rhetoric. 44 arrested comrades, and all the while they admitting no one got hurt and no material damage was cause. Wtf!?

Oh, and although snowball riot was fucking awesome, we should take notice that their police riot gear and shields offer excellent protection against small caliber ice projectiles. Will need to level up those, or come up with better plan for next time.

Hey là, vous le witch bloc, on vous trouve sacrément hot

send more kibble!!¡solidarité!

send more kibbleLéonard is a cat, an anarchat. Foren, Forar, ch47th (that’s C-H-4-7th) felis catus summoner of fur and creator of graphic content matter.

Title entered here


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send more kibble!!Quick post to update on the new eh… things, yeah. Things. Like these three new additions to the picture gallery (click for full sized image):

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The classical guitar section got boosted up by a video. Managed a decentish practice take on some Tárrega arrangements, updated the typical daily song list.

And that’s about it for the most part. Haven’t moved at all on the books front, though it’s what I had in mind for the weekend, and anyway supply far exceeds current demands for them. Additionally, going by this year’s number, currently stocked inventory is abundant enough to complete all orders forever so… like, no rush.

If you haven’t looked here in a while you’ll see a huge difference in the sidebar and menus, and if not well you might see some minor changes.

I wasn’t going to make a listens post or list for this week but I’ll mention a couple things. Like Rustbelt Abolition Radio, which I hadn’t clicked on yet when I made my post last week, and The Rebel Beat podcast I’m listening to while writing this.

In any case, to reduce mouse clicking attrition check out the list of co-conspirators over at Channel Zero Network. If you like what you see on that list, you might also like hearing they recently started up an uninterrupted audio stream from a mix of episodes from all of these shows. … !!! Yeah, go check it out.

(ed: wp is totally fucking up with the tweet embeds with this theme so… (does a weird blockquote thing idk))

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Weekly listens

So… wanted to get this done yesterday. Now I got even more listens coming in, listening to something right now! (Which I’ll pause and switch to something music while my attention is here)

Mostly just English podcasts and such, plus the arts history show Artracaille which is in French. Music playlists tend to be all over the place. I’ll start with that one then, since the shows I got noted down are all from last week, and use it as the time marker of sorts…

This week Artracaille was about a German artist, named Käthe Kollwitz, who worked with painting, printmaking and sculpture. The previous week was on a French printmaker, caricaturist, painter, and sculptor Honoré Daumier.

Sub.Media brought us Trouble #5 this weekend. Movement Defense Against State & Corporate Surveillance – You are being Watched
A fifth Burning Cop Car has also been set ablaze.

Another Honest Government Advert, this time on Wealth Care, from The Juice Media.

The Rebel Beat posted a special about Suena A Revolution and a summer playlist over on spotify.

There’s two The Final Straw episodes on this timeline: the one from the 25th with people from Radio98fm in Athens and the one from the 30th with an interview with author Margaret Killjoy on her book The Lamb Will Slaughter the Lion.
Their blog also posted an archived episode from 2011: “On this, the anniversary of Sante Geronimo Caserio’s assasination in 1894 of French President Carnot, Bursts shared music about Caserio’s attentat (propaganda by the deed), music about Ravachol, about dynamite, about insurrection. The music is varied in style to say the least, but tied to the theme of direct actions.”

Horizontal Hostility came out with a 5th episode. This time with talking points around post-leftism, fascist creep, and Wolfi.

The week’s episode of Kile Line covers the recent demonstrations outside the Workhouse in St. Louis, Missouri.

Radical People Podcast came out with a first episode on the Tar Sands Blockade and Tree Sitting campaign of 2012-2013, I was just listening to ep2 called “Meat Anchors” about climbing and banner drops before writing this… fun stuff. Criminal dumping tho, I agree kinda stinks to go on record for…

Solecast #46: “Repression Is A Battlefield” talks with J20 defendant facing 75 years of jail time.

Revolutionary Left Radio put up an episode about the crisis in Venezuela and the Bolivarian Revolution.

I’m probably forgetting a few. I only started noting them down over the weekend but I’ll see about jotting this all down as I play them for the next posts, and there mostly all recurring shows anyhow … I can’t think of anything else for now.

I though ending the post with some more video links. BadMouse released a critique of UBI. Dick Coughlan has a new Racist Website Safari Hunt up as well as a more personal video explaining his health issues.

I was also discovering this Kevin Logan fellow and his “Decent of the Man-osphere” series which was kind of interesting… but then both his channels got deleted one then the other. So that’s that.

And this channel here, I also only recently found out and have been going through, which just recently published a nice take on immigration and the fall of Rome.

And that’s about it, since a week, for all the peeps and places I regularly click on these days. It’s Going Down is where I heard about many of these podcasts for the first time, so it’s a good idea to check them out. Speaking of which, I’m a go and turn back on this one here.


Chasser l’impossible


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“Tu fais quoi?”

“Je chasse des créatures impossibles.”

“Wow. Comment tu fais pour trouver ça?”

“C’est pas toujours facile. Comme la plus hostile et dangereuse bête de tous, la plus meilleure violente hostile, la grosse tête à trophée ultime, la plus horrible et dangereusement mortelle à affronter, ça va prendre beaucoup de monde pour l’abattre. Tu peux pas t’imaginer la paye qu’on va s’faire avec de celle-là. T’as envie? Embarque, on s’en va abattre le capitalisme.”

“Cool. J’ai jamais vu ça une capitalisme. On va faire comment si on l’attrape?”

“Eh ben, soit on la dessine ou, j’sais pas, on se sera trouvé des idées rendu là.”

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