Was meaning to do this for a while now. Did a couple of times last year, but going to try and make it more of a thing… a bit silly to say seeing it’s already June. Continue reading
acab, college, criminal insanity, fake warrants, meditation, unaccountable institutionalized medical abuse and psychiatric torture, unlawful detention, with a decently large sized side order of persisting consequent harassment and hardships
At some point near the end of high school I got interested in eastern philosophies. I use to read a lot more back then. It’s not about faith, and I wasn’t into it because of religious or by what seems to me to be understood as spiritual reasons. But yeah, I used to just sit there and meditate. No one needs any training for that really, just sit there. Breathe, stare into the distance, at a particular spot on the wall or whatever. Let your thoughts pass, don’t pay them any attention. Let them come and go on their own like the clouds in the sky, or waves on a sea. Focus on breathing, scanning every part of your body, relaxing any tension you may find lurking about.
Eventually the senses go on autopilot (whichever ones have you), everything is rested and relax. Like sleeping with your eyes wide open. It’s like you don’t really see the things around you anymore but you know what’s there. You still see around you things that are moving or not, you hear the sounds, the smells, you can still feel from the tip of your toes to the top of your head every part of your body and where it makes contact with clothes, the ground, with the air breezing across the skin of your face as you breathe in and out. You take no effort however in noticing all these things; all your attention is focused on breathing, in and out, on letting your mind stay free from thought, letting them bounce off or bounce through. It’s no matter, ideas go on their way without breaking any of your calm. You just breathe in and out, eyes fixated on that dot in space, remaining just about as motionless as you can be in the torrent of existence.
Then the cops show up at the door with a warrant signed by the city itself apparently (cause you smart enough to look at the damn warrant), telling you your life is in danger and they need to take you away to save you from yourself. We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way, they tell you, it’s time to go for a ride.
How good is your kung fu? I kinda chickened out at that point and went for the easy way. Also I lived on a fourth floor at the time so…
Obviously the easy way involves cuffs, precautions as they say. It’s for everyone’s safety, apparently.
them: “You’re feeling angry right now an….”
me: “Oh no. Right now. I’m feeling at peace with my maker. And joy. It’ll be out on break, while I slowly take you apart, piece by piece, as small of them as I can. And with a smile, because I’ll have no shame when it comes back around, and we leave here dripping in your entrails.”
Anyway, as I was saying. Enjoy college while you can kids, cause you know, at some point you run outa money barely making it at a dead-end job, end up unplugging the fridge cause all it has is old yucky chemical mustard, and cops show up at the door to abduct you and take you to some medical facility for a chat, try to convince you 1 and 1 don’t make two and shits. Then obviously, after sending you to a facility for the criminally insane because you’re being uncooperative and disagreeing with their assessments of you, well, once they release you, wether or not, college just doesn’t feel quite the same after… so yeah, cherish and all that.
There you go. You have working thrusters and I see you moving. HUD should be coming back on. So I’ll turn off livestreaming, after telling you to signal back were there ever any other things I could do to help.
Full sonata (including first Allegro) compressed in this short(ish) animation about space rockets and stuff (improved rocket booster! hurray!)
Just getting a new setup going to try and log some of these guitar practices. This piece isn’t anything new, it’s actually one of those early ones that really got me into the instrument. I’ve never been happy with any of the takes I’ve made of my interpretations on it, and this here isn’t perfect by any standard, but here I was just testing for the sound, and warming up to check and see if I was feeling well enough to maybe keep playing some more right away… turns out not really, no. Later… Anyways…
Sadly I’m wearing this old sweater from that place I used to work at, there’s a window open and there’s a fan running on the other side of the room, however Leonard just moves in, such timing! Epic catness! Steals the show!
… nevermind :D much spoilers …
cats being cats, it’s no doubt going to be tricky
getting him to do that again, on cue :/
About as hard as finding a metronome with an espressivo setting to it.
…and I end up with what’s honestly my favorite recorded take on it so far, that little esthetic bias aside even. Hard stuff, this thing has some pretty gnarly phrasing, and I’ll mess up on some harmonics, yeah. Overall, I don’t screw it up too bad though so I’ll call it my best one so far too.
I’ll keep on trying. I’m expecting, well, hoping for anyway, that I’ll get a better take on it while playing it in sequence with the other ones in the set. If I’m eventually to record the whole sonata anyway kinda makes sense that way. Part 1 and 4 are a nightmare, mostly because of a few bars here and there, part 4 especially. I’ll ask for help and feedback for those too, in time, but for now if you know this music and might have some tips, you can probably tell by the clip which sections I’m struggling most with.
In any case, it’s a working progress, but I hope you’ll enjoy listening anyway.
So far so good. Haven’t touched the facebooks all year. Same for most kinds of media too, news, shows, radio, papers, name it. I was going to keep track of podcasts, videos and such, I did look up, but by the end of January I was already up to several dozen bookmarks. Too many that I care to count. So much for that. I’ll come back to this.
I’ve been rather down and out past few weeks anyway I’ve stopped keeping up… it gets like that. No matter what it is, it ends up being more demoralizing than not. The fun things become the depressing ones, things that would normally motivate and energize start feeling like a chore. Sucks.
And wow, time flies. Halfway through February already. Two weeks ago I was going to write this, but before that wanted to keep working on a piece by Fernando Sor I first learned many years ago, and stopped playing. Yeah, after going through the pile of sheet music I came across it, thinking it was one of those I had never came around to learning all the way through, was looking at maybe trying something new. Didn’t take long to realize it wasn’t. It’s next on the chopping block for the guitar vlog, I guess, I’ve added it to the top of my setlist for now.
It’s kind of difficult, so I remember why I had put it aside. It’s so much fun to play though, amazing parts that feel really rewarding to pull off, just really fun and cheery music. But hard, not super insane fuck you hard, but tough. Until a few days ago I’d go at it sometimes several hours a day, slowly, faster and sometimes too fast, sometimes with the metronome just over and over going back over the same bars. Repeating the variations on their own, then once in a while trying the whole song. I barely played anything else all of January.
Brings me to the video part. Only have a few recordings, none of which I’m really satisfied with. I’m still not sure where to go from here. Was thinking about maybe streaming it some, see who shows up. I don’t know. A bit why I’ve been loitering here in procrastination station until today.
Then I was surprised while login in to see the .org page I set up has been getting several hundred views consistently since last September of so. That’s awesome, I guess. Zero feedback or contacts about it though, unless that’s what that crazy hate mail harpy was about, she even came out in person to mock me over a cup of coffee… yeah, I guess that’s what she might have been about. What… so fucking weird, so much stupid. It would explain her behavior some. Not very good at paying attention to what people are saying is she?
Yeah, so I’m an orphaned bastard and I really don’t care about it beyond that, and I got cancer once, haha, I’m pretty open about that, come up with something better next time dumb fucks, your troll game is weak. Pretending we’re all friendly and sympathetic ugh? Fucking calling me at new year’s too to mock me some more. Plenty other angles you could’ve come at me with going on what I was telling you about. But you… Gee, what a dumb fucking… harpy, fucking erotomaniacal troll harpy bitch. Shooo! Months and months of Shooo!
Anyway… the PDF and it’s front page, it’s sorta like with Capicorn, there’s not really anything to follow it up with. So it just kinda stays there. Not much to do about it.
Leonard isn’t much of a fan of snow, and being out there alone gets boring, so I’ve kept up with spending just about all my time inside this tiny five sided box of an apartment. He’s gotten pretty good at climbing up that pole, wow. You should see him go. I’ll have to make a clip of that. I caught him at it once but it was kind of out of focus and I screwed up by flipping the camera sideways halfway through it. I started playing video games some more again around December. Watched the hell out of Battle Brothers too, some Total War. Played some Oxygen Not Included (what a silly game… lol), Subnautica is pretty cool, fun, if a bit scary :D Space Pirates and Zombies 2 was fun too. Though I haven’t finished Wastelands 2 yet, not sure I’ll get back into it any time soon. And a couple of hours here and there on a bunch of other titles. If I could get a working PC again, instead of this ageing Mac (doesn’t even have a CD drive! wtf) I would love some Battle Brothers, They Are Billions, stuff like that… but my options are limited, sad face.
I know this page hardly ever gets a view, but you know, ideas on how to make contributing to my paypal slightly more appealing (not much new in that area, though I did splurge some and have more than just coffee or tea on most days in February so far), that would be awesome. Any suggestions on the streaming too. A couple hours of classical guitar a day? Couple times a week maybe? I really hate being on camera, but I feel up to it. It’s one way to start up some conversations I guess. Outside some customer support stuff, few places I bought things at, and a very few occasions with a hand-not-so-full of people, including that French coffee stain hate mail troll and prank caller harpy, I’ve had none of that in many, many months.
If it helps, I can put up a list of those things I like to hear about. On the sidebar maybe? The list has been getting quite long this past year, it’s huge compared to that short list of juicy subversive morsels it started out with. Probably wouldn’t matter, they don’t get the point, or it’s on purpose anyway so they don’t give a rat’s ass. They think they got people and the world all figured out. Crazy nutters.
Quick post to update on the new eh… things, yeah. Things. Like these three new additions to the picture gallery (click for full sized image):
The classical guitar section got boosted up by a video. Managed a decentish practice take on some Tárrega arrangements, updated the typical daily song list.
And that’s about it for the most part. Haven’t moved at all on the books front, though it’s what I had in mind for the weekend, and anyway supply far exceeds current demands for them. Additionally, going by this year’s number, currently stocked inventory is abundant enough to complete all orders forever so… like, no rush.
If you haven’t looked here in a while you’ll see a huge difference in the sidebar and menus, and if not well you might see some minor changes.
I wasn’t going to make a listens post or list for this week but I’ll mention a couple things. Like Rustbelt Abolition Radio, which I hadn’t clicked on yet when I made my post last week, and The Rebel Beat podcast I’m listening to while writing this.
In any case, to reduce mouse clicking attrition check out the list of co-conspirators over at Channel Zero Network. If you like what you see on that list, you might also like hearing they recently started up an uninterrupted audio stream from a mix of episodes from all of these shows. … !!! Yeah, go check it out.
(ed: wp is totally fucking up with the tweet embeds with this theme so… (does a weird blockquote thing idk))
So… wanted to get this done yesterday. Now I got even more listens coming in, listening to something right now! (Which I’ll pause and switch to something music while my attention is here)
Mostly just English podcasts and such, plus the arts history show Artracaille which is in French. Music playlists tend to be all over the place. I’ll start with that one then, since the shows I got noted down are all from last week, and use it as the time marker of sorts…
This week Artracaille was about a German artist, named Käthe Kollwitz, who worked with painting, printmaking and sculpture. The previous week was on a French printmaker, caricaturist, painter, and sculptor Honoré Daumier.
Another Honest Government Advert, this time on Wealth Care, from The Juice Media.
The Rebel Beat posted a special about Suena A Revolution and a summer playlist over on spotify.
There’s two The Final Straw episodes on this timeline: the one from the 25th with people from Radio98fm in Athens and the one from the 30th with an interview with author Margaret Killjoy on her book The Lamb Will Slaughter the Lion.
Their blog also posted an archived episode from 2011: “On this, the anniversary of Sante Geronimo Caserio’s assasination in 1894 of French President Carnot, Bursts shared music about Caserio’s attentat (propaganda by the deed), music about Ravachol, about dynamite, about insurrection. The music is varied in style to say the least, but tied to the theme of direct actions.”
Horizontal Hostility came out with a 5th episode. This time with talking points around post-leftism, fascist creep, and Wolfi.
The week’s episode of Kile Line covers the recent demonstrations outside the Workhouse in St. Louis, Missouri.
Radical People Podcast came out with a first episode on the Tar Sands Blockade and Tree Sitting campaign of 2012-2013, I was just listening to ep2 called “Meat Anchors” about climbing and banner drops before writing this… fun stuff. Criminal dumping tho, I agree kinda stinks to go on record for…
Solecast #46: “Repression Is A Battlefield” talks with J20 defendant facing 75 years of jail time.
Revolutionary Left Radio put up an episode about the crisis in Venezuela and the Bolivarian Revolution.
I’m probably forgetting a few. I only started noting them down over the weekend but I’ll see about jotting this all down as I play them for the next posts, and there mostly all recurring shows anyhow … I can’t think of anything else for now.
I though ending the post with some more video links. BadMouse released a critique of UBI. Dick Coughlan has a new Racist Website Safari Hunt up as well as a more personal video explaining his health issues.
I was also discovering this Kevin Logan fellow and his “Decent of the Man-osphere” series which was kind of interesting… but then both his channels got deleted one then the other. So that’s that.
And this channel here, I also only recently found out and have been going through, which just recently published a nice take on immigration and the fall of Rome.
And that’s about it, since a week, for all the peeps and places I regularly click on these days. It’s Going Down is where I heard about many of these podcasts for the first time, so it’s a good idea to check them out. Speaking of which, I’m a go and turn back on this one here.
These past few weeks haven’t been very productive book wise, but now that all the medicals are over with (at least until the next ones, which aren’t that far away sadly) things are moving along better. Turned out I’d forgotten my good needle and the materials for the covers. Dropped by a store after the last appointment, and the “toned tan” sketch paper I found there is actually better than the one I was using back home. The color is closer to the brown of the spine’s cardboard, and gives them a nicer look than the beige pages. Although in any case both are fine.
I’ll keep using the new ones for now, until I get back home, but then I’ll save them for the books I’ll make with new paper, as in blank on both sides which basically means double the pages once they’re cut along the folds. As of typing this I have 13 of them completed, another one only missing the finishing touches, and another one still in the early stages ready to start threading which I’ll probably do on the road. I should be back home either tomorrow or the day after, by the weekend at the latest. I’ll take a break from that once those are finished, making it a total of 15 so far if I include the cruder first models, and excluding the half-dozen or so already given out.
Not much else to say for now. This place is nice to visit, I’d certainly wouldn’t want to stay anywhere else when I have to come down here for these checkups etc. I try and be the best guest that I can, which isn’t that hard, seeing as my hosts are so awesome. The cat still isn’t a big fan of going outside though he loves looking out those windows, and I haven’t tried letting him out again. He often lays near the door but just walks away disinterested whenever anybody goes in or out.
He really seems more affectionate out here this time around. Still sleeps as much, but way more playful and cuddly the rest of the time. If I’d had recorded me petting and brushing him since I got here last week, I’m sure I’d have at least 4-5 continuous hours of footage. This place is bigger than the apartment, and he’s not that used to having other people around. It’s kinda fun, he follows me around almost if not all the time, coming to sit next to wherever I happen to be :)
Spotted this little buddy strolling around in the yard. Shinning bright and intense red under the noon sun, it contrasted so much with the lawn that I saw it walking along from several feet away. So tiny! I thought for a second there I was seeing a dead pixel IRL :D
Managed to capture it here going across a patch of mud, after rushing back in to get the camera. I’ve seen those before, recognized it once I got a closeup look. A little chigger. Cute, but not at all friendly, not at all a fun guest to have around, and another great reason to avoid letting the cat out- although he did get all his shots and usual preventives against that shit.
New feather creature to hunt thanks to anonymous contributor referred to as “mom” for practical purposes only. In a totally not unrelated manner, three blank books have already been distributed and more are already prepared for assembly. New needles and crochet sticks were also purchased at an undisclosed location, and will be put to good use in the following weeks to come.
Twitter is fixed up. Saying I never use it wouldn’t be so far from the truth, so I unfollowed everything and added 4n. I didn’t nuke the tweets this time.
Refreshed to the youtube channel. but I’m not done adding videos from these few other channels I contributed too. I’m lazy, and its fuck all utter bullocks, randomly fucked nonsense of no interest. I might just grab those with more than a couple k views and add them to the yet de-unlisted list… channel looks fine as is, but I’ll get to it soon since it’s annoying me and I’m in a logging mood recently. It’s not like I’m getting much of any feedback about it anyway so wtf. I have more interesting things to do.
I’ve tried to look over some of the rant videos from when I actually did those, from when I got all the subs mostly. Nothing worth the time honestly. All around or less than 100 views, one video response to another tuber that hit over 11k, and not much or any constructive or positive engagement to show for on any of those. We’d have to twist my arm pretty hard to get me to look more into that shit, in strictly sincere speak, seriously. It can be summed up with “mostly randomly constructed discourse of varying decontextualized sentences”.
I have a better idea.
Here are some pictures from the latest cat fishing expedition.
4n really likes to hunt these things.