At some point near the end of high school I got interested in eastern philosophies. I use to read a lot more back then. It’s not about faith, and I wasn’t into it because of religious or by what seems to me to be understood as spiritual reasons. But yeah, I used to just sit there and meditate. No one needs any training for that really, just sit there. Breathe, stare into the distance, at a particular spot on the wall or whatever. Let your thoughts pass, don’t pay them any attention. Let them come and go on their own like the clouds in the sky, or waves on a sea. Focus on breathing, scanning every part of your body, relaxing any tension you may find lurking about.
Eventually the senses go on autopilot (whichever ones have you), everything is rested and relax. Like sleeping with your eyes wide open. It’s like you don’t really see the things around you anymore but you know what’s there. You still see around you things that are moving or not, you hear the sounds, the smells, you can still feel from the tip of your toes to the top of your head every part of your body and where it makes contact with clothes, the ground, with the air breezing across the skin of your face as you breathe in and out. You take no effort however in noticing all these things; all your attention is focused on breathing, in and out, on letting your mind stay free from thought, letting them bounce off or bounce through. It’s no matter, ideas go on their way without breaking any of your calm. You just breathe in and out, eyes fixated on that dot in space, remaining just about as motionless as you can be in the torrent of existence.
…
Then the cops show up at the door with a warrant signed by the city itself apparently (cause you smart enough to look at the damn warrant), telling you your life is in danger and they need to take you away to save you from yourself. We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way, they tell you, it’s time to go for a ride.
How good is your kung fu? I kinda chickened out at that point and went for the easy way. Also I lived on a fourth floor at the time so…
Obviously the easy way involves cuffs, precautions as they say. It’s for everyone’s safety, apparently.
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interlude
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DRAMATIZATION:
them: “You’re feeling angry right now an….”
me: “Oh no. Right now. I’m feeling at peace with my maker. And joy. It’ll be out on break, while I slowly take you apart, piece by piece, as small of them as I can. And with a smile, because I’ll have no shame when it comes back around, and we leave here dripping in your entrails.”
…
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Anyway, as I was saying. Enjoy college while you can kids, cause you know, at some point you run outa money barely making it at a dead-end job, end up unplugging the fridge cause all it has is old yucky chemical mustard, and cops show up at the door to abduct you and take you to some medical facility for a chat, try to convince you 1 and 1 don’t make two and shits. Then obviously, after sending you to a facility for the criminally insane because you’re being uncooperative and disagreeing with their assessments of you, well, once they release you, wether or not, college just doesn’t feel quite the same after… so yeah, cherish and all that.
